Two Hobbits Too Many
by urbanamore
Summary: 'Hobbit by name, not by nature' – that's what Asphodel Took would say. And it was a good thing too, once she stumbled upon the adventure that was awaiting her in Bilbo Baggins' house.
1. Chapter 1

With the thirteen dwarves crammed around the table in Bilbo's tiny house, it was impossible to hear the knock at the door over the noise. Only when Bilbo drifted towards his bedroom to seek refuge from the incessant chatter and laughter that he heard it; muttering to himself about 'those bloody dwarves' and how if it was another one 'I swear to Gandalf I'll slam the door in its bearded face', he moved towards the door, opening it only a smidge so he could peer through with one eye.

"Ash!" he cried, opening the door and embracing the girl stood on his doorstep.

"Bilbo Baggins, are you having a party without me?" she asked, laughing as she stepped past him into the house.

"Um, now I don't know if this is quite a good time for you to visit. It's not that I don't want you here, it's just…" he trailed off as the girl ignored him, putting her cloak down on top of a pile of swords, eyebrow raised.

She made her way towards the ruckus, not seeming to hear Bilbo's pleas to come back tomorrow when he'd sorted out the 'mess' he was currently in. As she reached the dining room she stopped dead, surprised but with almost excited eyes, which was unusual for a hobbit faced with a room of dwarves. She took in the sight before her; thirteen of them there were, all bearded, all merry and laughing, none as of yet having noticed her presence. Except of course Gandalf, who was sat in a corner of the room puffing away on his pipe, a knowing smile on his lips as he made eye contact with her.

He stood up, knocking his head on the ceiling, and made his way around the dwarves to address Ash, "Asphodel Took. A long time indeed it has been."

"Gandalf the wizard, back, filling old Bilbo's house full of dwarves. I'm sure he isn't very happy about this whole ordeal."

"I wouldn't use the word 'ordeal'," Gandalf chuckled, "When Bilbo was a boy he would have loved for something like this to occur!"

"He would have, but nowadays I can tell you that is not the case."

"Well that I have seen for myself."

"So," Ash beckoned for Gandalf to bend down so she could lower her voice, "What's going on?"

"You always were too excitable for a hobbit."

"It's the elf in me."

Gandalf smiled, "Our dwarf friends have a quest, of sorts. And your good friend Bilbo is going to help them."

"Bilbo?!" Ash spluttered, "Bilbo, on a quest with a bunch of dwarves? I'll be impressed if you convince him of that."

Gandalf merely smiled. He put a hand on Ash's back and steered her towards the head of the table, "Dwarves! My dear friends, I ask you to be most courteous to Mr Bilbo Baggins' guest, Miss Asphodel Took."

"Ash!" she piped up before they had a chance to call her otherwise.

"Well, well, well," Bofur said, stepping up to be the first to inspect the new hobbit, "You're a lot more pleasing to the eye than the other one!"

Most of the hobbits started squawking with laughter, but seeing the hobbit's raised eyebrow, Balin approached her and said, "Don't worry lassie, they're only joking around."

Ash smiled and made her way into the dining room, greeting a few of the dwarves, trying to get the full story of what their journey actually was. Meanwhile Bilbo stood in the hallway, looking even more unimpressed than before. The only person who looked more unhappy than Bilbo was Thorin, stood in a corner of the dining room, observing the second hobbit with a look that was deeply indignant.


	2. Chapter 2

Once the ruckus died down and the dwarves started getting tired of their feasting and merriment, a couple falling asleep in their chairs, Ash approached Gandalf. He looked down at the little hobbit, the excitement of an adventure brewing in her eyes, and he couldn't help but smile.

"So?" she said, gazing up at him.

"What exactly is it that you wish to know, Asphodel Took?"

"Can I come?"

Gandalf's face clouded for a second. It was too quick for Ash to notice that anything was wrong, but for a second he remembered the seriousness of what lay ahead – fights, battles, people who would want to hurt them all. They would be risking their lives, this was true…and yet the look in her eyes told him the answer, "Yes. I see no harm in there being a…backup burglar."

He chuckled as she whooped and ran off, making sure he fixed his mind on the fact that they would _not _need a backup burglar, Bilbo would be just fine, and Asphodel was coming merely to quench her thirst for adventure. But that night the thought made it no easier for him to sleep.

First thing in the morning, Ash clambered off of Bilbo's sofa, surrounded by snoring dwarves, and made her way to the kitchen, fixing herself a breakfast with the minimal food that was left in the house. Dwarves really did like food she thought, as she through the door of the pantry which was slightly ajar, revealing empty shelves and crumbs littering the floor.

She walked back into the living room, weaving her way through the sleeping bodies to the front door, where she followed the little path down to the bench overlooking Hobbiton. She sat down and munched on her pitiful breakfast, admiring the blue sky. After a while she heard the door open and close, and a few seconds later Bilbo appeared beside her.

"I'm not going, you know that?" he said, not looking at her.

"I am." She replied.

"I know, but you're _built _for adventure! I'm not! I'm Bilbo Baggins, who cares too much about his mother's china! What would I do without my bed and my armchair, eh Ash?"

She turned to him sadly, "You'd enjoy it more than you think."

Ash made her way back up to the house. A short while later with no Bilbo in sight, the dwarves rose and started packing up their things, readying themselves for the long journey ahead. Thorin and Gandalf stood in one corner, a very serious conversation happening in hushed tones. After a few minutes Thorin burst out, "She's a female hobbit!"

"Be thankful you have a hobbit at all," Gandalf said, "And she is more than you know. She has left the Shire before, she has been further than you would imagine she would ever go."

Ash knew she shouldn't be eavesdropping on their conversation, but it made her smile to hear Gandalf sticking up for her, and she knew that she could prove Thorin wrong, so he didn't bother her too much either. She knew most of the dwarves were interested to see how the little female hobbit coped, and she knew that she would surprise them.

Once all of the dwarves had themselves assembled on horses and with Ash on a little pony, the fifteen set off towards the edge of Hobbiton. They had hardly been gone five minutes when they heard someone running after them. They came to a halt and Bilbo Baggins could be seen running down the paths between the houses, waving a long sheet of parchment in his hand, "Wait! I signed it! I'm coming!"

Ash smiled to herself. She knew he would change his mind. She looked at Gandalf and saw he had thought the exact same.


	3. Chapter 3

After a brief stop for lunch mid-afternoon they were off again; by Thorin's word they would not stop until nightfall. On their horses (and ponies) trotted, carrying them further and further away from the Shire. Ash thought about this, and wondered if she should be more bothered than she was by the thought of how long it could be before she returned home again. She knew that most hobbits would be disgusted at the idea of even leaving the Shire for a day – but then, Tooks were not like most hobbits. And the fact that Bilbo was here proved that he was more Took than he would ever admit to.

One of the dwarves appeared beside her and nodded, smiling. He was not the youngest dwarf, but probably the most handsome – he seemed to be maybe the only one who had any control over his facial hair. He was a lot less beardy than any dwarf she'd ever met before; frankly he had what could be called 'designer dwarf stubble'. He had quite a lot of hair on his head, although even this was not wild and bushy, more flowing than that, and he had quite a handsome face.

"The names Kili," he said, "And yours? I couldn't quite make out what Gandalf kept saying."

"Asphodel Took. But you know, that doesn't actually sound quite like a name, and most people apart from Gandalf call me Ash."

He grinned, "So Ash, what brings you on an adventure with dwarves?"

"Well, it looked like my friend Bilbo wasn't going to turn up so I thought I better step in."

"You're telling me you decided to leave your home for an indefinite amount of time out of common courtesy?" he raised an eyebrow, looking amused but as if he didn't believe a word of what she was saying.

"Well, maybe it _was _a little more than that…thirst for adventure and all that."

"You and Bilbo are the first hobbits I have ever met, and if I'm honest neither of you are particularly anything like I imagined hobbits to be like. From the stories I've heard, hobbits are homely, rather on the rounded side, prefer the simple things in life…you and Bilbo don't quite match up."

"Oh I assure you, me and Bilbo are the exception," she laughed, "I'm frowned upon by almost all of the hobbits in West Farthing, but the place in the Shire where I'm from, Buckland, they're more _wild. _I was brought up by Brandybucks, that's probably why I seem less like a hobbit than I should. Buckland technically isn't even in the Shire, and so all the hobbits who live there are less naïve and more wise to the world. And Bilbo hardly counts as an exception, he has too much of an attachment to his mother's china."

Kili laughed at that, and Ash felt strangely happy that she'd managed to make the dwarf laugh. She liked dwarves laughs, they were big and boomy and you could tell that they meant it. "Anyway, from the stories I've heard about dwarves they have huge beards and huge bellies and that doesn't quite seem to match up with you."

"What can I say, I'm well groomed." He grinned, stroking his dwarf-stubble with one hand.

"Evidently – a dwarf with a vain side. I never thought I'd see the day."

"I'm going to choose to take that as a compliment." He said, chuckling.

Suddenly a shout from Thorin was heard from up ahead; Ash looked around and saw they had climbed quite a distance – they now had views of fields upon fields, and the land beyond. The sun had almost made its way past the horizon though, and everything was suddenly turning dusky. They all dismounted from their steeds and a couple of the dwarves rounded them up and set tying them to trees, whilst Ash busied herself with helping Balin and one of the other dwarves prepare their meal for the night.


End file.
